|
| There's a girl in my first period, right? She was in rehab for most of the first six weeks, because She cuts herself. Me and these three other girls who sit with Her are supposed to look out for Her, you know, make sure She doesn't go off and hurt herself anymore.
We had a test today, and a substitute teacher. She finishes her test first, and turns it in. Then she takes the attendance to the attendance office.
I finish my test, turn it in, and go back to my seat. She's
been gone for about three minutes, but we're in the science hall and it
would probably take about that long to walk down there and back if you
weren't just hurrying. So, another five minutes go past, and I start to
worry. She should have been back by then, but she wasn't. I lean over to the girl next to me and ask if she knows where She went. She frowns, and shakes her head.
I normally wouldn't worry, but She came in this morning with a pair of scissors sticking out of Her
purse. So, we go and ask the sub if he knows where she's gone, and he's
clueless. He just says she should be back soon and we need to go sit
down. Yeah, right.
So I tell him that She cuts herself, and the first thing he says is, "Oh, God."
But you can tell he's not thinking, 'oh, god, she's gone and hurt
herself,' he's thinking, 'oh, god, she went and hurt herself while I
was supposed to be watching her.' Totally only thinking of saving his own ass.
So the girl who was sitting next to me says she thinks she knows where She
might be. She goes to get Her. after about five more minutes, the sub
tells me to go to the office, and I'm about to leave, when She comes
walking through the door. She had gone to talk to the SRO. He took away
her scissors.
My life is seriously weird.
| | |
| The colors are all shades of gray for a reason. At the moment, I don't
know what color my life, my world, anything is. As I discover the
answers to these questions, the colors may change. Of course, it could
just be that I'm trapped inside a world of gray.
| | |
| I’ve never really been much of a journal person, online or otherwise. But I’ve always heard
that it’s helps people get their thoughts organized, and I’ll admit-my
head is seriously cluttered at the moment. So, I’m hoping, by the time
I’ve finished writing, not just today’s entry, but overall, I’ll be a
little less confused about who I am.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not one of those ‘My life sucks so bad,
sometimes I just want to turn and walk away’ teens. My life is actually
pretty good: decent GPA, cool parents, and really,
truly awesome friends that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
I know, I know, it doesn’t sound like I should have trouble finding out
who I am. But, all the same, I just...don’t know sometimes.
I hang out with the ‘goths’ and ‘emo geeks’. Sometimes I just want to
scream at them that, oh my god, their lives are truly blessed; they are
all healthy, most of their parents are great, and none of them are
exactly living in poverty. Dear lord, they are so lucky.
Sigh. I need to calm down, or this is going to turn into an angry rant
journal, where all of the words are printed in deep red, so that it
resembles blood.
| | |
|
